Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, golf fans of all ages—welcome to the main event! In one corner, we’ve got the old-school heavyweight champ, the PGA Tour, with its tradition, prestige, and a rulebook longer than your average round at Augusta. And in the other corner, we’ve got LIV Golf, the flashy upstart league throwing cash around like Ted Turner at a wrestling convention. It’s a rivalry for the ages, and like any good wrestling feud, it’s got its champions and its heels.
For those unfamiliar with the lingo, in pro wrestling, the champions are the heroes, the fan favorites who play by the rules. The heels? Oh, they’re the villains—the bad guys who’ll throw dirt in your eyes while the ref isn’t looking. And guess what? The world of golf has just as many characters as the squared circle. So, who’s playing what role in the LIV vs. PGA showdown?
Jon Rahm—Rambo, or Heel in Disguise?
Let’s start with Jon Rahm, the big-hitting Spaniard affectionately known as “Rambo.” If you ask fans of traditional golf, Rahm is as much a champion as Arnold Palmer’s iced tea—strong, bold, and always ready to refresh the sport. But to LIV Golf fans? Maybe not so much. Rahm has been outspoken in his defense of the PGA Tour, which to some makes him the ultimate heel in the eyes of those chasing LIV’s dollar signs.
In the world of wrestling, the most exciting characters are the ones who could flip sides at any moment. Is Rahm secretly a villain waiting for his heel turn? Or is he going to stay the clean-cut champion, defending the PGA’s honor while knocking drives 350 yards down the fairway? It’s anyone’s guess, but for now, he’s playing the good guy—until he isn’t.
The Villains of the Green
LIV Golf is full of golfers who’ve embraced the role of the heel, whether they admit it or not. These guys are the nWo of golf, walking into tournaments with sunglasses, a chip on their shoulder, and a bank account that makes your local country club pro weep.
Phil Mickelson – The Rebel Heel
Once golf’s golden boy, Lefty has donned the black hat ever since he took LIV’s money and ran. He’s like Hulk Hogan when he turned heel in WCW, shocking the world by ditching his “good guy” image for the dark side. Mickelson isn’t just playing the heel, he’s relishing it. Smiling all the way to the bank, he’s the guy who loves being booed by the purists while flashing his legendary short game in front of LIV’s deep-pocketed fans.
Dustin Johnson – The Silent Assassin Heel
If Phil’s the loudmouth rebel, Dustin Johnson is the silent assassin. He doesn’t say much, but when he does, it’s usually to announce he’s collecting a cool $100 million from LIV while working fewer weekends. Johnson’s heel persona is all about cool indifference. He’s the kind of villain who won’t cackle after a dastardly deed—he’ll just collect his paycheck, hit a 300-yard drive, and head home with a smirk.
Brooks Koepka – The “I Don’t Care” Heel
Koepka is another guy who’s more heel than champion at this point. The man has made it clear he’s all about the majors and doesn’t care about the drama. He’s like the bad guy who doesn’t even need to cheat—he’s just naturally that good. LIV handed him a fat stack of cash, and Koepka said, “Sure, why not?” He’s the villain you can’t help but kind of like because he’s brutally honest about what motivates him—money and trophies. No time for anything else.
Defenders of the Tradition
On the other side, we’ve got the champions—the good guys in this battle. They’re the faces of the PGA, playing for the love of the game (and let’s be real, the love of some nice prize money too, but it’s a different kind of money, okay?).
Rory McIlroy – The People’s Champion
Rory McIlroy is the John Cena of this saga, the guy waving the PGA flag and swearing loyalty to its rich history. While Mickelson’s busy counting his Saudi millions, McIlroy is trying to keep golf from going full “sports entertainment.” He’s the people’s champion, delivering passionate speeches about what golf should be. And like any true champion, he’s not afraid to call out the heels—especially the ones with deep pockets.
Tiger Woods – The Returning Legend
Tiger Woods is like Stone Cold Steve Austin—an icon who doesn’t have to do much to send fans into a frenzy. While Woods might not be in his prime anymore, his legacy alone makes him the ultimate champion of champions. When Woods stood firm against LIV’s advances (allegedly turning down a billion dollars), he cemented his status as the hero of the traditionalists. You won’t see Tiger jumping ship for a villainous heel turn anytime soon.
Jordan Spieth – The Underdog Champion
Spieth plays the role of the underdog champion, the babyface you root for because he’s scrappy, relatable, and always hustling. He’s the guy trying to take down the big, bad heels with nothing but sheer willpower and a silky-smooth putting stroke. If there’s anyone who embodies the heart and soul of the PGA, it’s Spieth. He’s out there fighting for glory, not just the bank balance.
Can the Heels and Champions Coexist?
Just like in wrestling, golf fans love a good storyline. But here’s the thing: do they actually want the two leagues to coexist? Sure, the drama is fun for now, but let’s face it—golfers aren’t known for their kayfabe. Sooner or later, something’s got to give. Will the PGA champions like Rory continue to defend tradition? Or will more players jump to the dark side, lured by the promise of big bank taking little bank, as Ice Cube once said?
Whether you’re rooting for the champions of the PGA Tour or the heels of LIV Golf, one thing’s for sure—this rivalry isn’t going anywhere. It’s shaping up to be a battle worthy of WrestleMania, with massive paychecks, hurt feelings, and, if we’re lucky, a folding chair or two.
So, grab your popcorn—or your putter—because the golf world’s newest rivalry is just getting started. Whether LIV becomes the next WCW or sticks around long enough to make the PGA sweat, one thing’s for sure: Vince McMahon is watching this unfold somewhere, shaking his head, and muttering, “Been there, done that.”