48 Influencers Walk Onto a Golf Course… What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Spoiler: Everything. Absolutely everything.
Welcome to the Internet Invitational — the only golf event where your subscriber count matters more than your handicap, and where the most important metric is not strokes gained but views gained.
This circus was curated by the chaos committee known as Barstool Sports and Bob Does Sports, who hand-selected 48 golfers using their secret evaluation system:
- Do they have followers?
- Will they embarrass themselves on camera?
- Bonus points if they shank under pressure.
Add up the collective social reach of the field and the number gets so big it should require SEC disclosure.
Episode 1: The Oversleeping, Ball-Picking, Shank-Fest Begins
Influencer Luke Kwon oversleeps like he’s late for sophomore algebra, strolls in half-asleep, and gives the camera the type of performance usually reserved for DMV photos.
Fasoli the cameraman picks up a ball in play, proving once again that rules in influencer golf are more of a suggestion.
Shanks, chunks, three-putts, and fumbled eliminations follow. Players wince at the lenses, fully aware the comment sections are loading their sniper rifles.
Meanwhile… Fans Accuse Paige Spiranac of “Cheating”
Because it wouldn’t be an internet event without a scandal, viewers slammed Paige Spiranac for what they called “cheating” — and for crying during the drama.
Naturally, the internet reacted with its usual level of compassion:
Zero.
Cue the Tom Hanks voice from A League of Their Own:
“There’s no crying in baseball!”
…which the internet quickly updated to:
“There’s no crying in golf unless you’re putting for double bogey.”
In fairness, if you put influencers, money, and cameras together, tears are basically a required ingredient.
$1 Million 3-On-3 Final
The format:
- Start with 48 personalities.
- Cut the field in half each round.
- Pray someone keeps score correctly.
Eventually six survived, setting up an alternate-shot finale at Payne’s Valley the kind of pressure scenario no influencer is emotionally prepared for.
Team Dalke / Ellis / Beef
- Brad Dalke (Good Good’s resident powerhouse)
- Francis Ellis (Barstool’s king of awkward confidence)
- Cody “Beef” Franke (Barstool legend who competed prior to his passing)
Team Frankie / Paige / Malosi
- Frankie Borrelli (still apologizing for most of his shots)
- Paige Spiranac (algorithm queen, tear count TBD)
- Malosi Togisala (Good Good’s intimidation factor)
In the end, Dalke, Ellis, and Beef pulled off the win — a fitting tribute to Beef and the tournament’s most heart-filled moment.
Portnoy Announces the Sequel: Creator Thunderdome at Big Cedar Lodge
Dave Portnoy saw the chaos, checked his pulse, and decided he needed more.
He announced a new four-day mega-event called the Internet Invitational, with a prize pool topping $1 million.
He’s calling it the definitive creator golf tournament.
We call it:
- The Shank Bowl
- The Influencer Open
- The Masters (but with more mic’d-up meltdowns)
Final Verdict: Golf Purists Are Hyperventilating and We’re Thriving
Traditionalists are clutching their pearls.
Influencers are crying, shanking, and maybe cheating.
Comment sections are melting down.
In other words:
Golf has never been this entertaining.
Bring on the chaos.
Bring on the tears.
Bring on the $1 million shank-fest.
Because if this is the future of golf entertainment…
we’re absolutely here for it.